The Big Five-oh Bitchfest of 2016

Jack and I turned 50 in mid-2016. Jack took it in stride. I, on the other hand, had to be drug kicking and screaming into midlife. I know it’s just a number, and you’re only as old as you feel, and all the other platitudes people say to make each other not hate 50 so much. But to me, it sucked. Life is moving way too quickly! Where did the time go? We still have so much to do!

Anyway, fast-forward to December of 2016 and my big realization…I had just spent six solid months bitching about being 50 and all the things that were happening to my body: I’m heading into menopause and the hot flashes damn near killed me. I started having hip pain. My left foot went bad. I developed tennis elbow even though I’ve never played more than a few hours during gym class. I needed a stronger magnification for my reading glasses. My skin got dryer. I began to need occasional vag gel for dryness there as well. My hair got thinner. Both shoulders ached at different points during the year. Believe me, if there was something for me to bitch about, I did. And I felt like it was constant.

By body was beginning to betray me. I felt like the warranty had expired!

But more than that, I started to irritate the shit out of myself with so much bitching. It dawned on me one day while Jack and I were hittin’ the laughing grass and waxing poetic that I had done nothing but complain about being 50 and the things that were happening to my body! EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And damn, that’s no way to go through life. It’s a wonder that Jack didn’t leave me, what, with all that bitching.

I forced myself to buck up and stop complaining. I just had to. Even I couldn’t even stand my own bitching any longer. Sure, I still want to, and there is still plenty of stuff to gripe about, but…I have shut the hell up about it. Mostly. Because really, I need to maintain my sunny outlook on life.

This year we’ll be 51. I’m not happy about that number either. It’s even bigger than 50! Fifty plus one. But, as I’m always reminded, it’s better than the alternative. And as God is my witness, I will NOT lose my shit this year.

How have you coped with getting older? What age hit you hard?


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  1. Age is really just a number, my dad is now almost 60 and not only his my best friend but he also enjoys life more than me haha! Don’t let anything stop you ( even your own thoughts)!!

  2. It doesn’t matter the age I think people will always be good at bitching. A way to stop is to try and look at things with the glass half full perspective 🙂

  3. LOL…I’ve had the same realization lately…not about my age, but about life in general. Stop complaining already and just do something, sick of myself, sick of complaining, it’s Spring, let’s get on with it. 🙂

  4. Age is only what you reveal publicly, I like to say. I spent an entire year thinking I was a year older – and that was a little rough. But, the next year, I told everyone I was a year younger, since I never got to live it. Now, I just go down a number every year… and no one is going to stop me. 🙂

    1. When I turned 40 I lied about my age. Did that for years. Then it dawned on me…I didn’t want people thinking I was 38 but LOOKED older. So I gave up the lies. LOL

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